I was adopted at birth by wonderful parents with whom I grew up, but only at age 30 (married with children), I coincidentally found out that I was adopted and not my “parents’” biological child.

The shock was almost too much for me. I was overwhelmed, devastated, thrown off course and totally disorientated. I was disorientated for most of the next twelve months in which I started to deal with my “new life”, yes it felt as if I was born again… as myself.  But a strange me.  My sense of belonging was seriously compromised.. In my mind my life started again, and strangely all the familiar growing-up years fell away and left a blank space.  (I realize now how complex, but also amazing the brain operates, it reminds one of a computer – give it too much information too fast and it freezes – it needs time to process the information and file it where it belongs.) 

My adoptive family was supportive in a way, but could not comprehend what I was going through, and mostly feared rejection.  Not being able to have her own children anymore, waiting for 13 years, I was like an angel sent from heaven to my mother.  So much did I fit in and look alike, that my mother started to believe that I was her own child.  To me again, although I still loved them, my family of 30 years suddenly felt like strangers.  My husband was very supportive. Since most of the shock subsided, I became aware of an enormous sense of insecurity.   I had to figure out where I came from, then find myself again, and hopefully be emotionally parallel to where I was at the time of this incident and only then would I be able to continue with my life.

After a long search over 8 months, which is a story on its own, including missing files, many questions and no answers, yes many ups and downs, I eventually found my biological mother.  We have a good relationship now – in this scenario my definition for that is:  “Telephonic contact regularly and accepted as a reality” – And even though I have more peace now, there is still a part of me that wishes I will wake up from a dream.  Maybe someday, after we both have worked through our issues, we will be able to have a real mother and daughter relationship.  Then this story will have another chapter…

So you see, it turned out well for me. While I don't agree, some people even think this is a fairytale!  But sometimes not all of us have a fairytale… 

Maybe you have a similar story.  Please take the time to tell us about it.  The main purpose of the website is to assist people in the same circumstances to share their tales, because each story is unique in its own way – and so are you.

My best wishes,

Robyn