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Adoption Stories

Married to an adoptee

My side of the story

I am married and have been for 13 yrs, to the most gorgeous, wonderful woman in the world. The only thing holding her back from complete happiness is the fact that she gave a son up for adoption on the 9th of September in the early 80`s. She too had been given up for adoption so it was almost as if it was a punishment in line with the biblical "sins of the father". I recall the many, many, many nights I spent comforting and reassuring her over the years. When our son and later our daughter were born she seemed to be so much more contented but I know she longs for the day when he comes knocking at the door. He will be more than welcome in our home. My question is as follows: 1) Do we discuss this with our 10 year old son yet?
[11.05.2004 13:07 - Charlie]

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Yes,Yes!!

By [11.09.2005 22:07 - Rae]
Hi Charlie, The earlier the explanation the better. Youngsters will ask as much as they themselves need to understand whereas if you wait till he is much older you may be faced with a teen that becomes very resentful because he wasn't told. He may also be afraid to ask questions.We told our two children about my husband's son from a previous relationship and although he has never had contact with him both my children(then aged 10 and 8)were thrilled about having a "big brother". Why don't you and your wife consider looking for her son? I was also adopted and was absolutely thrilled to be able to trace my birth parents and although you cannot make up lost time it certainly does bring about closure on certain things AND opens a lot of new things in life! GOOD LUCK.....

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